Hello everyone! Long time, no blog. I have had “update website” on my reminders list for months now, looking not only for a time spacious enough to update, but also one during which I had blog-writing energy. This means a time where I am well-rested, not distracted, and don’t have anything else more immediately pressing to do; in short, a rare occurrence in my life as it currently stands.
I am more than halfway through my master’s program in counseling, an endeavor that I knew would take a lot of energy and time on my part, and one where I also knew I would encounter a lot of change, growth, and obstacles. Knowing that has, unsurprisingly, not helped any with the difficulty, though it has at times soothed its sharp sting, if only briefly.
Thus it was with welcoming arms that I invited Average August in again, this year with its preparatory companion, Just Enough July. This all falls under the category of modulating energetic output, which has been my catchphrase of the last several weeks.
As I move through my days putting on my many hats (student, intern, research assistant, yoga instructor, massage therapist, and of course friend, daughter, cousin, neighbor, dog mom, etc.) I periodically notice my fatigue or desire to be doing something other that what I am doing. When this happens I hear this soft voice in my head saying “Modulate your energy. Seventy percent.” I dial back the degree to which I am giving my attention and effort to about 70% and not only does it help me feel better in the moment, it also helps me be less empty at the end of the day.
To me this belongs squarely under the yoga umbrella, where the primary goal is to be immersed in the present moment, aware of our existence and our participation in it. As I reminded my Yoga Oasis Surya yoga challengers recently, the Bhagavad Gita emphasizes that we bring ourselves to our work without attachment to its outcome. As I attend to my output in the moment of the work, I bring to that moment the type of balance that allows me to utilize more of myself in it, not just the balls-to-the-wall YOLO carpe diem parts. As I attend with 70% effort using the parts of me I am accustomed to – my eyes, my ears, my posture – I allow space for the less-used aspects of myself to come forward. These parts are more subtle and yet wise, quieter and yet brimming with slow power, the sort that grows trees to fullness and allows a mountain to soften its hard edges over time.
So in case you don’t hear from me, whether on here or anywhere else out in the world, know that I am cultivating this thoughtful strength that comes only when the space is available for it to grow. I hope you can do the same. See you in Rumi’s field!
