Things continue to unfold, don’t they? When the pandemic descended into my world, I spent several days wrestling with my fears and my beliefs. Ultimately I ended up asking myself, Do you believe what you say you believe? Do you actually believe that all things are energy moving into and out of various forms? Do you believe that the universe is vast consciousness experiencing itself endlessly? Which would make all of this just another facet of energy moving in its infinite way? Neither good, nor bad, not a punishment or a reckoning, not tragic or exquisite, but most definitely ultimately energy in motion.
Or do you believe that all of those beliefs you have been espousing are just a way you spun your wheels for a number of years until reality hit?
It was a profound opportunity for me to see who and how I truly was. After my several day meltdown (during which I watched Frozen 2 about 10 times; I highly recommend it for when you’re in that kind of state), I ultimately decided I did actually believe what I thought I believed, and from there the directive was relatively simple: Then act accordingly.
My beliefs directed me to continue offering the work that I do, even in a time when people were supposed to not be near one another at all, to say nothing of touching, breathing, speaking, and in various states of clothing. I thought to myself “Massage and yoga are both means of putting ourselves into parasympathetic nervous response (relaxation response), which not only is great for managing stress, but also happens to be fantastic for strengthening and replenishing your immune system”. My clients and students were welcome to attend their appointments or opt out, and there are some with whom I still haven’t reconnected, though I hope to along the way.
Each of us has had to sit with ourselves and determine who and how we want to be in all of this. Learning to hold space and respect for that has also been a part of my process.
I decided I wanted to continue to provide a safe and comforting space to heal, to unveil, to trust and to love, even in the face of what could at times feel like the boogeyman from childhood come alive. I started to see the gifts of the closing down, particularly for me, in that I was finishing up my last semester in graduate school earning my degree in clinical mental health counseling.
Prior to things changing, I was doing my internship (still doable via Zoom), working full time and teaching yoga for three organizations at about ten classes as week, and finishing my thesis. My days were anywhere from 10-14 hours of intense focus for six days a week and one day where I would do things like sleep and laundry. It was too much. I had hit the wall a number of times and did not know how I was going to finish.
Then all of a sudden I gained about 20 hours a week that I had not had before. I stalked a coach from my gym and had him do personal training with me so that I didn’t cease my physical activity, which was so vital to my well-being. I was able to sleep in more, and to do my own grocery shopping for the first time in months. Slowly I finished my school work, checked off all of the requirements for graduation, and amazingly, kept my house and my dog and myself well and healthy.
I offered a few online workshops for myself just as much as my students, recommitting to spiritual and non-asana yoga practices, and I learned how to live in a world where so many things I had come to accept as “just the way it is” were tossed up in the air with no knowing how and where they would land. Like us all, I got more comfortable with being uncomfortable most of the time.
I graduated, slept, slept some more, watched a lot of Netflix, and have finally gotten to a place where I have energy and interest again, in anything other than restorative activities.
And I am bringing two wonderful new things into the world.
The first is a gift. Literally. In my time as a bereavement counselor, I noticed that there are few means through which others are able to feel as though they have actually offered anything of help to someone who is in grief. The Grief Box is a gift for someone who is grieving. In the box there are self care items, ritual items, and a guide to help the person in their grief. It is a long-needed thing, and one that I know will make our world a kinder and better place.
The second is a program. I wrote my thesis as a book, a way to address mental and emotional well-being practically. The process is called Harmonic Integration. Through examining the different aspects of our lives, we can refine and introduce practices that help us improve each of them, accumulating wellness as we go. Bringing each aspect into harmony with each other allows us to live our lives more seamlessly, with less friction between things like our beliefs and our jobs, or our physical well-being and our mental well-being.
I am introducing this program in 2022 at Yoga Oasis in its beta form, and am doing it under the title Practicing Wellness. Each month starting in April there will be a three hour workshop in which we will explore the specific access point to mental and emotional well-being. We begin with Sleep and proceed to Nutrition, Physical Activity, Obstacles, Environment, Relationships, Pleasure, and Money. As we proceed further we will address Purpose, Values & Integrity, Story, Perspective & Attitude, Creativity & Play, and Spirituality. If you would like to participate, you can attend the sessions individually on a drop-in basis or sign up for the whole program. Information is available at Yoga Oasis.
I am so grateful and excited to share these new things with you. Please feel free to contact me with questions. I look forward to bringing all of this into being.
